How to go from Fearful to Confident

Have you ever felt like you couldn't overcome a fear because it was so paralyzing?

I have felt like this time and time again. No matter how much I tried, I would stay stuck in place. Cemented, more like. Nauseous, overwhelmed, and defeated. Sometimes fear would overcome me over the seemingly silliest, littlest things. More often than not, those fears were driven by what I thought others would think. Crazy, right?

The point is that what we think other people think can have a hold over us. It can keep us from chasing after our dreams, from enjoying the things we truly love. We end up playing small for fear of judgement, for fear of looking stupid, for fear of failure. Maybe we care too much about what other people think.  Change happens when we decide to face our fears for ourselves.  Maybe if it is too much and you want courage and encouragement, find a set of people you can surround yourself with that leads to success for you. You can join a virtual support network of people who share the same dreams and goals if you cannot find others in your own workplace, home, or community. 

What are some ways you can overcome fear:

  1. Put your fear in perspective. See if it is driven by external circumstances or other people. If it driven by others, check out the next step.
  2. Write down your fears on paper. Add details like whom is influencing such fear, why it affects you and why you care what they think. Even if it is true, also write about how it may be affecting how far you can go in life.
  3. Reflect on where you want to go and where you want to be in a month, year, or 5 years from now. Does the fear prevent you from achieving the goal? In what way does the fear derail you from living the best life you desire for yourself? Also pretty important: Will you see or care about these people in a few years, and will they actually care about you?
  4. When you are ready, take a small step towards facing the fear. For example, are you afraid of speaking in public? Start with practicing in front of a mirror, then tape yourself, then ask a family member or friend to listen in, and gradually build from that until you are ready. Remember to celebrate each step along the way.

Best consequences of facing your fear:

  1. You will feel closer to being your most authentic self, true to yourself and to your own desires.
  2. You will learn, grow, evolve. Plus you become committed to your own success.
  3. You will not be happy with playing small anymore. Instead, you will learn to naturally shift your priorities to dreaming bigger, working towards and achieving your goals. 
  4. You will be unstoppable, confident, and awesome, naturally.

Ready to move past your fears? Be inspired by some of my favorite quotes on fear below: 

~"The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free." - Oprah Winfrey

~“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford

~“Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.” —Dale Carnegie

It is totally possible to face the fears and eventually overcome them. I faced mine today and did my first video for my new group. Sure, the voice quality made my voice sound like a chipmunk, which is worst than any auto-tuned song, but instead of thinking about appearing ridiculous, I choose to try. After all, I have wasted so much time hiding and shrinking, so whom am I really serving by keeping my message to myself? To guide myself, I prayed first, then with a clear head I made the choice to show up for others. Weekly. WHY? So that my weekly practice will help me improve. Check out Marie Forleo's first video, it is a whole lot different and less polished than they are now! Onward and upward <3

If you want extra support and guidance from me, join my unique group, Wholistic Queen Tribe, of like-minded women who will support you, cheer you on, and keep you accountable as you face your fears. 

Blessings and love,
Melissa Maria