No one is liking or commenting on my video.
They like other speakers better than me.
My video is embarrassing and it makes me look like an amateur, or worst, an impostor!
Do you struggle with the above thoughts when it comes to sharing your thoughts or expertise on your topic via video, like a Facebook live, IG Stories, or interview?
All this week, I was consumed with how I sounded or looked in an online interview I did. It was on how to show ourselves grace when we share our message on social media, so note to self: listen to it and apply it, too!
Because the interview played on a loop in my mind for the rest of the week - and the only track playing was very negative, by the way - I realized that you may also be feeling the love lost when it comes to video. I thought I’d share the few tips that have been helpful to me on how you can love video when you feel like it just isn’t kind to you:
No one really cares what you look or sound like.
We care, but others don’t. They are either focused on their own lives or their own thoughts, but they don’t spend whatever free time they have thinking about how you messed up or looked like an impostor. Shocking, right? Especially since we think about our video constantly and over-analyze it to the point where we don’t see any value in it anymore. But people don’t care. I say that lovingly. And if they do care and share their negative thoughts, remember that they are not personal attacks. Our messages are not for everyone.
Practice with grace.
My immediate thought was NOPE - I am not practicing, I just cannot stand listening to myself. But, the more we try, the more comfortable we get. Whether it is practicing on our cell phones or doing more interviews, practice helps us get better and feel more confident in sharing our message. Our messages are valuable to those that need to hear them, and the more we come to accept that, the easier video will become. Every time we practice, we need to apply grace. If we don’t like how we look? That is okay - show yourself grace and kindness and remind yourself you are getting better. If we feel like an impostor when doing that podcast interview or Facebook live? Again, show yourself grace and remember that you are doing your best.
It isn’t about you, it is about others.
When we have a message to share, we often want to share it to make others feel better or learn from us. That initial thought is selfless. When the ego decides to make you doubt and bring up how your looks or voice are lacking polish or perfection, it then becomes selfish. We forget that we want to show up for others, and then we either stop showing up or we criticize everything about ourselves, or both. The more we feed that ego, the more we back away from taking action or sharing our message through video. It has been my experience for so long that instead of helping me do what I do best - helping others - it made me less visible and less known. I don’t want that for you.
Which of these three resonates the most? Which will you start working with first?
My challenge for you today is this: show yourself grace as you practice and get comfortable with video being your new normal. You can rip off the bandage if that is your thing, or you can start small - practice on your cell phone or mirror, then you can graduate to doing audio, then do video. Give yourself space to get comfortable because it won’t happen overnight, and give yourself permission to have fun with it, too. Get your kid or sibling or pet in on it, practice it while putting on makeup, shoot a video while at the beach or playing games or walking.
I will be challenging myself for the next 3 months to practice video and infuse all that I do with grace. God knows I will need lots of it!